Struggling

It's quite amazing when you grow older and older. You start to figure out how fast your dignity is washing away and how easy you compromise on happening that against your belief.

To live on, you have to follow the public belief - the value proposition that is widely recognized among the population. The further away you are stepping from the line, the higher the risk to live on - public mass pulling off their acepetance, job security suddenly becomes a question.

Don't challenge what the norm belives in, follow the pattern that everyone is living could give you a higher chance of survival. It's tough to me cause it involve the lowering of what I believe in.

The way I treasure on something - creativity, the love and passon, as well as how one can get concentrated in making things happen. Be it an invention of software, a business one has started. Thing should be simple but it doesn't meant it's effortless. I treasure on how much they did in getting it delivered.

The way of doing, on events happening against me - the so-called "self protection" by being suspicious to people working or living with. Be it a passenger you bump in, during a ride on the MTR, a colleague that you see everyday. How frequent that you has to package your idea or opinion so that you can make sure the maximum benefits can always be given to your side.

The matter of trust becomes so thin that I feel very scary. I feel miserable on why it is not suspected by anyone but me. OK, I know I am not the only one but I cannot find anyone that I know is having the same thought. When is the last time that you opened your heart? How come we have to deliver or project a false message to the recipient, in order to get what we want. Or push them to the trap that we have setup. Why aren't we eager to speak up the truth? When something is bad, it is bad! It shouldn't be mentioned as simply "No Good"!

Holding the forge is no simple task, you have to depart with the comrade that was all the way along, the comrade that you could left your live to. Indeed, you just cannot have both - either your belief or your companion.

Life doesn't mean to embrace everyone but why couldn't I just live on as how I see fit? You don't need to agree on me but please, don't throw stones at me while I am walking on my path.