The pain that even molphine cannot relief.

Pain from the tumor is turning acute.

A recent visit to the doctor has changed his prescription with molphine sulphate, which should be able to relief his pain effectively.

But it could not diminish our pain in seeing him to suffer from coughing, with each stroke like a stabbing with a knife. We are surrendered helpless, except from seeing him crying in tears.

This reminded me our experience last year, when we first discovered his illness and worried in every seconds. Now, we are moving onwards to a later stage of the journey, which even less could be done but more pain is suffered.

It is a joke, that no one wants to suffer from the pain, whereas no one dares to end the journey.

Yet, it will go when it is time to go.

Sleep, or stay awake.

My own time begins when everyone goes to bed. I could continue my work, or browse around to my favourite websites.

So I usually stay up till lately.

But indeed, going to sleep is the only moment that I can let go of everything. The responsibility as a son, the taking care of the family.

So every night turns out to be a dilema, but luckily, it is still my own time in either way.