Escape

Philip told me about the desire to escape, I didn't realize I have the same thought until he raised this up in our recent conversation.

I have been deciding to go for a long time, because of the stress, frustration, boredom, etc. And the desire to escape is indeed one of the key factor, too.

Imagine you are playing freefall for 10 times a day, and you don't know for how many more times you gotta play with. This is what I have been experiencing in these couple of months.

Indeed, tackling with the performance issue is no new thing, I have to deal with this in every single project I have been working on. I feel panic everytime but definitely not as much as it is now. This one is not in anyway more complicated than the others, the major different is, I have to face the user directly and the application has already roll out to production. It seems to me that there are not any buffer to fine tune the process.

What even worst is, I don't seems to know on how to improve the performance. Have I told you I am on my own, too?

The phone just rang and the desire to quit grows again. I don't want to worry about it each day until either I died or everything get forget.