又是每個月到醫院覆診的日子，病況正如預期般。謝醫生細心地聆聽着病況的變化，並依據着轉變而調整處方。
但最為我所動的，是她淡淡然地跟我說 — 時間寶貴。
真的，這一年得來不易，亦沒有人可知還有多少時間，相聚的每刻都應多珍惜，尤其是了解到生命是如此無常。
8/30/2006
8/16/2006
The day is getting closer
It is scary in noticing the day is getting closer and closer. The falling in condition, the increased dosage of medication, are all alerting me that I should get ready.
Going through the mental exercise, envisioning what am I going to see and experience, but I am still feeling frightened when it begins to happen.
What am I afraid of? The passing away of dad? The pain in seeing him suffering on each day? The process of after life handling? The taking care of mom?
I have no clue.
I keep telling myself it is a natural process but it doesn't seems to convince my shivering heart. After all, he is my closest one, who has been living through 1/3 of my life. You just can't beat the emotion that comes when you are about to depart from it, but yet, it is just a natural emotion. No one loves to depart, in particular when it means forever.
Going through the mental exercise, envisioning what am I going to see and experience, but I am still feeling frightened when it begins to happen.
What am I afraid of? The passing away of dad? The pain in seeing him suffering on each day? The process of after life handling? The taking care of mom?
I have no clue.
I keep telling myself it is a natural process but it doesn't seems to convince my shivering heart. After all, he is my closest one, who has been living through 1/3 of my life. You just can't beat the emotion that comes when you are about to depart from it, but yet, it is just a natural emotion. No one loves to depart, in particular when it means forever.
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