Hollow vs Emptiness

I think I have talked about the feeling of emptied out a lot of time before, just that I finally find the word.

When I grow up, I found that I learnt less, the problem is 2 fold, life become repetitve, doing the same thing, facing the same problem without a solution that could be found for each time, bored by the same old thing, going to the same restaurant. And the capabitily to receive new idea drops. No excitement, no refreshment.

I used to believe I am just being dragged away by my job, head being emptied and looking for the day to refill what has lost.

This is not true.

For years, I am still uncertain about where the balance point between life and career is. I am still persuading myself I am capable, trying to regain some of my confidence. Not until now, I found that I am not simply emptied out but have both end of myself being drilled away like a "hollow trunk".

So, no matter how much effort I have put to "repair" the situation, it is sort of like pouring water into the drainage - you can never fill this up.

Just if I can find the old lid.