Over drain

Another month has just passwd away but yet, I still cannot see the twilight.

Hang on there, it's going to be ended soon, I was told. Finish it up and pay respect to yourself, I always heard.

Really? I start to wonder. I hate to listen to all these, when you are not the one who suffer. Do you know how painful it is when you are going to bed, knowing that at the time when you open your eyes, you have to face the shit for another day. Do you know how bad it feels when you have lost the appetize to eat and want spill out everything you tried to grab into your mouth? Do you know how helpless one is, when you have lost every single piece of momentum in doing anything you are interested in before?

Dream shattered, once again, I can see them glittering now but I am too tired to pick them all up.

Be respect to yourself, be proactive, to show to the others that you are capable. Come on, I can't stand on this kind of shit. By settling the shit leave out by others means respecting myself? Why should I dare to? I am selfish, yes, I am, but how come one can ask me to finish this shit while letting me feeling so bad everyday? Why don't you say they are selfish? Does it really mean so if I can finish those crap but having my dignity being stepped over and over again?

I have had enough, I am sure. All I need is an escape plan, I swear to myself.